


Precipice

by KSheenan10



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Rumors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-23 01:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KSheenan10/pseuds/KSheenan10
Summary: Rafael and Olivia start spending time together again, outside of work. Then on Valentine's day they end up sleeping together. An occurrence that keeps happening. Only now Rafael is hearing rumors at work about Olivia and the newly returned Elliot Stabler. Is she just using Rafael to scratch an itch or is there something more between them?
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 76





	Precipice

New Year’s had been a turning point.  
Olivia and Rafael had spoken before that of course. Mostly through Skype and the phone. Then once he arrived back in the city they had managed to see each other once or twice. When she had admitted to missing how things once were, well he was glad he wasn’t the only one.   
Rafael couldn’t have said what kind of turning point it was. Yes, he was seeing Olivia more which was a positive. But, well what was that saying?   
Be careful what you wish for.   
Sometimes your wishes turn out hollow. 

It had started as texts. In between clients and court, he would allow himself to look at his phone for personal reasons, something the professional in him had never done before. After all when he had worked at SVU he was with her a lot of the time. (His thoughts hadn’t been 100% professional, but he was only a man.) He found himself smothering his smiles when he wasn’t alone, as no one else needed to know what was going on. 

By the end of January he was ducking into private rooms to receive her phone calls. He wasn’t sure if these calls were when she had breaks in cases, he chose not to ask. He wanted to believe she was making time to talk to him despite how busy her job was much like he was for her. 

Beginning of February he was picking up take out and meeting Olivia at her apartment, Noah fast asleep in bed most nights and they would just talk, Rafael struggling to look at anything other than Olivia. Later he would visualize her, playing back their conversations and how her eyes would catch on his. How she would smile at him, his breath catching when she did so. He fell asleep with her image in his head. And when he awoke he scrambled to put it back together.

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon when she sent him a text inviting him over that night. He didn’t think anything of it, just happy to be heading over.   
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” the cashier said as he was taking his bag and turning to leave. He froze for a moment.   
Valentine’s Day?  
On his way to Olivia’s he looked at his phone and realized the cashier was indeed correct. He hadn’t been paying attention to what the date was.   
Did Liv know? Did it mean something that she had invited him over?   
No.   
All it meant was that she was single and looking for company of a friend who was also single. There was no way he could or should read anything into this.   
Still, the man hesitated outside of the apartment door before finally knocking. 

He couldn’t help the smile that overwhelmed his face when Olivia opened the door. She laughed when she saw him.  
“Well now I feel underdressed,” she said, taking in his usual suit and tie. She herself was standing in a pair of black sweats and a t shirt that hung off of one shoulder, her feet bare.   
He entered shutting the door behind him. “I had a meeting this morning and then spent the rest of the afternoon working on paperwork in my office. I haven’t had a chance to go home yet.”   
“I feel like I should go put on something else,” Olivia joked as they made their way to her couch.   
Rafael took off his suit jacket and tie before rolling up his sleeves, “Better?” he teased her. He glanced around but the rest of the apartment seemed oddly quiet. “Where’s Noah?” 

It wasn’t quite late enough that the boy would have been in bed, and if he’d been playing he would have run out as soon as he heard Rafael’s voice at the door. He had been overjoyed when Rafael had started stopping by at their apartment again. The man had found himself regretting all the time he had missed with Noah. The fact that the boy had grown in the three years he had been gone always caught him by surprise. A part of him was still expecting him to be the same five year old who told him about the deer jaywalking. 

“He’s over at Amanda’s,” Olivia said as she was digging through her cupboards, pulling out plates. Rafael glanced over at the back of her head. “He’s spending the night.”  
“Isn’t it Sunday? Doesn’t he have school tomorrow?”  
Olivia brought the dishes over. “February break,” she reminded him.   
“Are they still doing that this year?”  
Olivia shrugged. “I guess. I mean both the students and teachers need a break sometime. This year has been more stressful than most for them.” 

They both sat down and began eating in silence. Rafael smiled into his food. Olivia was the only person he’d ever felt like he could sit with and not say anything, the silence comforting. He found himself sneaking looks at her through his meal. She had her legs tucked up under her and his eyes flickered between her bare feet and the shoulder that was exposed. His mouth went dry at the sight of her looking so at home, so relaxed. He was glad she felt like she could relax with him. 

“Dare I ask how work is going?”  
Olivia let out a sigh. “I’d really rather not discuss it right now.” She looked up at Rafael putting her fork down.   
Silence fell again, but this time there was an undercurrent of something, Rafael couldn’t name.   
He found himself unable to pull his eyes away from hers and wondered when they’d moved so close to each other. Her side was pressed against his. His fingers began tapping a rhythm on his leg. Olivia reached over and put her hand on his.   
Rafael opened his mouth to ask her what was going on, at least that’s what he was intending on doing, it may have come out as something else instead but he never found out as Olivia’s lips on his stopped any words. 

It took him a second, but then he reacted, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his lap. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on here, but he wasn’t about to stop everything he’d desired for so long. Everything he thought he’d ruined years before.   
He jerked a bit when he felt her fingers slip beneath his shirt, touching his skin. She pulled away, Rafael opened his mouth to complain but then her lips were on his neck and he moaned instead. He inched his fingers beneath her t-shirt wanting to feel her skin as she mouthed at his neck, his eyes falling on the shoulder the shirt hung off of. He wanted nothing more than to lick that shoulder. 

Olivia pulled away and her eyes met his again. There was a pause and Rafael could feel the precipice they were teetering near. Perhaps the one they were starting to go over. He pulled away slightly, missing the slight disappointment in Olivia’s eyes, and pulled off his undershirt. He wasn’t sure when Olivia had removed his dress shirt, he didn’t remember her sliding it off of him, perhaps when he’d been resisting the urge to lick her shoulder.   
His eyes tracked her tongue as she licked her lips, staring at his bare chest.   
Then they were back on each other, removing clothes at a furious pace. Rafael finally caved and dragged his tongue across that the skin that was showing and enjoyed the little whimper that left her throat. 

He made love to her on the couch, trying to memorize the way her legs wrapped around him, the way she tasted.   
They both fell asleep after but woke up shivering a bit later.   
Olivia took his hand and led him to her bedroom. This was a good thing Rafael decided as his eyes focused on taking in the sight of her naked body. He probably would have walked into a wall otherwise if her hand hadn’t been in his. 

They made love again, Rafael trying to memorize the sounds she made, the whimpers, the moans, the way she cried out his name.   
She fell asleep in his arms and he stared down at her wondering at his good fortune. Now he tried to study what she looked like sleeping. The way her face smoothed out and the little puffs of air she emitted. He felt sleep pulling at him and he tried to resist, wanted to watch Olivia for as long as he could, but finally sleep caught up and he didn’t know any more for a while. 

It was a couple of hours later that he woke up, barely able to force his eyes open. Olivia was sitting up, talking into her phone.   
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she promised. She hung up and looked over at Rafael. “Work calls,” she said softly, running her fingers across his cheek. “Stay here and sleep as long as you need. I’ll talk to you as soon as I can,” she promised before standing up. Rafael went to say something, but again sleep pulled him under. 

When he woke again, light was streaming in through the windows and the spot next to him was cold. He got up and went to find his clothes, feeling off kilter not quite certain what had happened between him and the woman he’d been in love with for years. 

It was three days before he heard from Olivia. A quick text apologizing for not reaching out sooner. Work had exploded and she barely had enough time to eat or sleep. She invited him over again that night, but this time after they’d both eaten dinner.   
Rafael showed up this time dressed more casually feeling oddly nervous. He had barely made it through the door before Olivia was on him, her hands and lips everywhere. This time they had sex against the wall in her front hallway, her sweats down around her ankles. They finished removing each other’s clothes after before making their way back to her room. Rafael took the time to learn her body with his fingers and tongue before they went at it again, her bedsheets ending up on the floor. They slept in each other’s arms before Rafael’s phone rang this time. He reluctantly pulled away from Olivia who smiled sleepily at him. He nearly jumped back into bed at that smile but forced himself to leave.   
Later he would wish he’d given in to that want. 

He nearly didn’t pay any attention at first. A former NYPD officer who had retired was returning to the force and running his own squad. Organized crime. Rafael ignored it.   
Until the name of said officer came up. He froze, his back turned to the two discussing it. He would know that name anywhere.   
Elliot Stabler.   
“I wonder if Benson knows,” one of them commented.   
“Captain Benson?” the other asked sounding confused.   
“I forget how recently you started here,” came the response. “Yea those two were partners back in the day,” lowering their voice they continued, “they were totally fucking each other too. You should have seen them together. Then Stabler left, went back to his wife and well it’d explain why Benson never seems to have a relationship that sticks. She’s clearly still stuck on him and is just using these men to scratch an itch.” 

Rafael felt the bile rise in his throat. He made his way back to his office and shut the door, blissfully alone now. His mind was rushing, thinking over everything he had just heard. Was that what this was with him and Olivia? Just her scratching an itch? He sat down in his chair heavily. He would talk to her next time they got together. Figure out what exactly was going through her mind and clear this up.   
His fingers were tapping on the desk now and he still felt that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. She had hardly mentioned Elliot to him during the time they’d worked together other than the occasional “my former partner” stories. She certainly hadn’t seemed like she were talking about someone she was in love with, but rather a good friend. Of course a good relationship came out of a good friendship. 

She had made a comment like that once to a victim they’d been working with, he suddenly remembered. This was when they had just started working together so he hadn’t really thought anything of it.   
His phone vibrated pulling him from his thoughts.   
Olivia  
He answered forcing himself to sound normal. At least he hoped.   
“Are you busy tonight?” she asked him without preamble.   
“No,” he answered. He should ask her now, he told himself. Before he chickened out of it. The background noise from her end disappeared. She shut the door to her office he realized.   
Her voice was lower when she spoke again, “Ok because I was thinking we should christen my kitchen table next.”  
Rafael nearly choked on his own tongue. “Um yea that’d be, uh yea.”   
“Why Mr. Barba have I made you speechless,” she teased still in that soft tone that was giving him goosebumps.   
Rafael managed to collect himself. Somewhat. “And what time should I be over there to help you christen your kitchen,” he asked, his own voice low.   
“8 o’clock,” she said.  
“I’ll be there,” he promised. He could practically picture the smirk on her face when she responded with a sultry tone of voice.   
“Looking forward to it.”

True to her word they did indeed christen the kitchen, both on the table and up against the refrigerator. This then ended up with them maneuvering carefully but not less athletically and enthusiastically in the shower hands and mouths going over each other’s bodies again and again.   
Rafael on the other hand wasn’t true to his word. He found the words failing him when he went to ask what this thing happening between them was. 

And now she was curled up in his arms looking so calm and happy and he pulled her closer to him wishing he could be as happy as she looked, as happy as he thought he would be with her in his arms. As happy as he should have been. Yet, he couldn’t help wondering and couldn’t stop the dread that was in his stomach that this between them was temporary. He stared at her face wishing that he could be the one that made her happy. The one that she could come home to and feel safe. He fell asleep with tears on his cheeks.   
They were long dried by the time Olivia woke up. 

It was the end of March when Rafael was picking up some take out for him and his mother. Olivia had told him she would be working late on a case that night. He had just rounded the corner when he paused. He could clearly see Olivia a block or so ahead. There were some people between them so he didn’t immediately call out. Then the crowd shifted a bit and he barely held in a pained sound. Her arm was wrapped through another man’s and they were walking slowly engaged in conversation. The man turned his face towards her and kissed her on the top of her head before resuming the conversation. The former ADA recognized that face from pictures they had around the precinct.

Elliot. 

Rafael turned and walked away. Olivia had told him she was working. She wasn’t dressed as if she were working. A part of him pointed out they could be undercover. Right, he told himself. They were in two different squads, but it was still possible. He would clear this up with Olivia before jumping to any conclusions.   
The next few weeks Rafael found excuses not to see Olivia. His cases picked up his mother needed him. He tried to ignore the disappointment in her voice. The weather was starting to get a little warmer when he finally broke and went over. Olivia was on him in an instant. He wanted to ask her about Elliot, but he found himself wanting her touch more. 

Clearly if she was still hopping into bed with him there must not be anything between her and Elliot right? He reasoned to himself before doing that thing she liked that made her yelp and grin at him with that grin he liked.   
He was at work the next day when he began hearing the whispers. The ones that were saying that they’d heard Olivia Benson was in a relationship. No one of course could say who she was in a relationship with, but they were all putting money on Elliot. They had started spending time together again or hadn’t you heard?   
Rafael rubbed his hip where her teeth marks were before going into his office and focusing on paperwork trying not to cry. He ignored his phone when it rang. Finally when he looked at it he saw that Olivia had left a message.   
She had invited him to come over Saturday night. He stared down at his phone. He finally sent a text to her confirming he would be there before placing his phone on his desk and his head in his hands. How had he gotten in so over his head? 

Saturday arrived faster than Rafael wanted. Of course he wanted to see Olivia, he had missed her, but he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation he was about to have with her. Her door opened and Rafael froze. 

“Can you let me answer my own door El,” Olivia appeared behind the man laughing. “Rafa,” she squeezed past Elliot and hugged him before pulling him into her apartment.   
“So you’re Rafael?” A blonde woman stood up from Olivia’s couch looking at him curiously.   
Words came back to him and he smiled at the woman. “Rafael Barba,” he offered her his hand to shake. After all she had nothing to do with what was going on between him and Olivia.   
“Kathy Stabler,” she said. “My husband was the one who let you in,” she said shooting a grin at the man who was standing behind Rafael with his arms crossed. Rafael met his gaze head on. Elliot let out a grin. 

“I had to meet the love of Liv’s-“ Elliot was cut off by Olivia’s elbow. Rafael looked at the pair. Olivia was shooting Elliot a dirty look even as she moved closer to Rafael. He wasn’t sure when she had linked her arm through his, but he decided it didn’t matter as her slightly pink face turned to his with a smile.   
“We’d better be going now. There’s only so much time I want to leave Eli home alone,” Kathy said slipping by them towards her husband.   
“Hey so tomorrow, I’ll come by to pick up Noah, take him to play baseball with me and Eli,” Elliot said grinning at her and Rafael with a knowing look in his eyes. The two began moving to the door.   
“Oh and Rafael. Make sure you’re good to her. Not that I’d have to hunt you down. We both know she’ll kill you herself. And remember she knows enough that she can get away with it.” Kathy hit her husband on his shoulder and then the two left the apartment, Elliot’s laughter trailing behind them. 

Rafael turned to Olivia trying to figure out where to start first. “Sorry about Elliot. He-“ Olivia waved her hand. “He’s like that annoying older brother or so I’ve been told.”  
“Did he-“ Rafael paused. “Did he call me the love of your life?”  
Olivia turned slightly pink again. “Um, I mean, that is,” Rafael grinned at the way she was tripping over her words.   
“Why Olivia Benson did I make you speechless?” he teased. She shot him a look to which he just laughed.   
“You are you know,” she said when his laughter died down, she was looking down, his arms wrapped around her now, holding her.   
“What?”  
“The love of my life,” she looked up at him, a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. Rafael stared at her.   
“I am?” he said breathlessly. She nodded. 

He thought back to when he had heard the people in his office talking about her being in a relationship. It clicked.  
It was him. She was in a relationship with him.   
All that talking on the phone and the dinners they’d had in January and February, those were dates, he marveled. Which meant she’d known exactly what the date was when she called him over for Valentine’s day. And that time he’d seen her and Elliot, that probably was some sort of joint undercover operation. He worked organized crime. A lot of times that went hand in hand with sexual abuse cases. It only made sense. 

“So we’ve been dating this whole time,” he asked. Olivia pulled him down to her couch. “I wasn’t sure. I mean we never really talked about it so I didn’t know what you were thinking, but-“ he tightened his hand around hers. “I’m glad. I mean,” he took a breath. “You’re the love of my life too.”   
Olivia smiled at him before climbing into his lap. “I love you,” she whispered before kissing him. He grinned against her mouth attempting to kiss her back. He was smiling too much though. “I love you too,” he said against her mouth. 

A month later Rafael chuckled when he heard. Apparently someone had made the mistake of making a comment to Elliot’s face about him and Olivia. He hadn’t taken it well, pointing out he was in fact faithful to his wife and Olivia was like a sister to him before telling the person if he said anything more Elliot would hunt him down. 

Three months after that everyone was talking about Olivia and Rafael’s wedding.   
Sometimes your wishes turn out hollow. And sometimes they’re better than you’d ever expect.


End file.
